The Identity
The majority of people are seeking a place, for example, a pub, to connect to a specific group with whom they can identify. How many of us seek after true identity, the feeling of being valued and complete, where we can settle and establish? Normally we don't like to talk about our vulnerabilities, struggles, or ups and downs towards others we want to impress. Through different workshops, meet-ups, various events, clubs, debates and interviews, my vision is to encourage people to think, open up and talk. Having such a mixture of different people—all sharing, listening and talking in one setting—could be a starting point for experiencing genuine authenticity in the community. The pub may attract different people from all types of identities to experience a different atmosphere and challenges, in hopes to support them to heal and become stable in who they are.
That healing all depends on our authentic identity and how we deal with ourselves. The understanding of identity is so complex, like the multiple layers of an onion. However, there are two main components of identity:
Authenticity and Authority.
Authenticity…
is the quality of being genuine or real. It is the state of something or someone in its purest/original form.
In our case as human beings, authenticity shows up through our unique DNA combination, our experiences and our memories. It is crazy, we need to think about it; there needs to be an excellent creator because how is it possible that no one else has your DNA combination?
Authority…
is a force of influence, whether it is a person, a god, social media, passions, culture, etc. it manifests through your values, priority, appearance, lifestyle, way of thinking, body language, the use of language; how you deal with your relationships, your work, how you solve problems and conflicts, etc. It affects our personal life and mental health either positively or negatively.
In my case, I tried to fit into the excess of the heavy metal world. I wanted people to identify me as a metalhead. While I was in that dark emo phase, my mum used to say “you’re acting like a bitch”. I didn’t care. I thought the metal community, would give me the control and the strengths I desired. But instead, the excess brought me more into depression and abuse of alcohol. I was in a severe imbalance with my true self.
That is why authenticity and authority are the two factors that shape your identity in the background. Identity is grounded in purpose, authenticity and influenced by authority. The choices you make shapes who you are. We often choose to put on an identity we desire or feel like becoming—whether it fits our authenticity or not.
All of you have questioned at least once your identity: who you are truly/where you might fit in. So, what makes authentic identity so important?
You might think your authentic self depends on your mental health and healthy body. But, in fact, time and time again it is never enough. Because our identity is not just mind and body—we are mind, body and spirit. Without the spiritual part, you will turn up empty. Many believe that the beginning of our identity starts when we were created in the image of our mother and father sliding out of the womb. Just as—by nature—we cannot deny being made in the image of our parents (whether we like it or not), that is simply an earthly mirror reflecting our spiritual image in a Heavenly Father, the Creator. Therefore, we can only discover our authentic identity when we first discover the identity of our Heavenly Father, in whose image we were made. It is the absolute truth and it cannot be just subjective truth. We must challenge ourselves to think about someone who is the Creator, who started everything through His authority,
….who started everything through His authority, who created us with love and purpose.
The beginning of this process can start in a community. However, in a community where there is no pursuit after healing, seeking after the truth, nor compassion exists, we can hardly experience the true fullness of our identity. That's why finding our true self starts when we start to ask who God is and what is the absolute truth and become open to seeking a relationship with our Creator. In order to become whole in who we are, we are at full peace with ourselves and therefore have confidence and stability that is unshakeable from the circumstances and situations surrounding us.
Everybody is welcome to find their spot in the pub along this journey of discovering their authentic identity. The place is still respectful and has an open door for everyone. I would invite everyone to enjoy a different atmosphere to experience growth and perhaps even challenge their perspective of identity.
