I was blessed to grow up in a Christian home, the youngest of 3 kids. As a family, we read the bible every morning at breakfast and went to church multiple times each week. It was just normal and expected; all my extended family and friends were Christians. I gave my life to Christ and was baptized when I was 8 years old – fully understanding and committing to Christ. It was also normal and expected, that we would all get straight A’s in school, would always do our best at everything we did, wouldn’t drink or do drugs and would strive to live a good Christian life.

My parents led by example. Looking back, it was a very sheltered life, but not sheltered in the bad or traditional sense. Sheltered in that I was surrounded by love and grew up with a high self-worth and high self-sufficiency because I always knew I had a safety net – that my parents would always be there for me and help me in any way I needed and that I had God as the cornerstone of my life.

I grew up with a strong foundation of God, music, learning and love. That doesn’t mean I never struggled or had issues. Of course I did! When I was young, I often felt left out since I was the youngest. As I got older, since I had grown up surrounded by Christians, it was hard when I got to junior high and high school, because I struggled to fit in. So I focused on academics and joined the band. That gave me purpose and focus, but I always felt somewhat of an outsider – that I was somehow hiding parts of who I really was because they didn’t fit in neatly with the rest of my family and other Christians I knew. I excelled academically, so I skipped a grade and ended up graduating high school when I was 16. I got my drivers license at 15 (a hardship license because I got a job working at McDonalds and then working in a grocery store) so I grew up pretty quickly. I dated a lot in junior high and high school. I think I compensated for my lack of close friends by always searching for romantic relationships since those were easier for me. In high school, my best friend got into a bad crowd and started drinking and doing recreational drugs. Senior year, she would use me as the designated driver when she wanted to go out drinking and partying. I never drank or did drugs, but I enjoyed dancing, going to clubs and flirting, so we always had a good time. She got us fake IDs and because we looked and dressed like we were in our early 20s, we always got into the clubs.

When I graduated high school, I got a corporate job I really liked and started attending university at night. I wasn’t interested in the university party life – I wanted to work and figure out what I wanted to do for a career. I was only 17 but I moved into a small apartment near work/school. I really enjoyed having my own place and the freedom and flexibility that came with it. I started dating a guy from work (who was a Christian). It was a whirlwind romance and after dating only a few months, he got down on one knee and proposed! I told him “You don’t even know how old I am”. He said, “it doesn’t matter, but OK, how old are you?” I told him I was 17 and he sat down! I said “Why, how old are you”? He said, “I am 37!” I looked mid-20s and so did he, so we were both shocked! However, we were both convinced that it was true love and age didn’t matter so I said “Yes”! When I told my parents, they – of course – freaked out! I told them (and truly meant it), that if they met him and didn’t think we were a good match, I would break off the relationship. They agreed to meet us for dinner, and within 15 minutes, we were all laughing and having a great time. So we continued to date and when I turned 18, we got married.

I continued to work and go to university at night, and we started to build a life together. After a few years, I got pregnant and had a son. He was a HUGE blessing!

However, with everything going on, I couldn’t find time for church or bible study so I drifted away from God and tried to do/build everything myself. I put God in the background. After a couple of years though, we got back into church because I wanted to give my son the same Godly foundation that I had as a child. Off and on over the years, I would do the same thing and put God in the backseat while I tried to do life my way. Deep down, I still felt “different” and struggled to find true friends. I wasn’t comfortable being truly open with anyone, so I kept my fears and desires mostly to myself. I felt I always had to be the “good girl” and couldn’t admit that I didn’t have everything under control and perfect. So I poured everything into my son and various ministries where I could help others and made sure I constantly stayed busy. That seemed to give me more peace. I was happy, but still somehow lonely deep down.

I had a solid marriage, and my son grew into an amazing man. However, since I was so young when I got married, after about 25 years, I was a very different person. While my husband was winding down and retiring, I was still anxious to explore life and find new challenges. I felt like I was just a shadow of myself going through the motions. I had stopped focusing and spending time with God and fell back into a pattern of putting Him in the backseat. That’s when I took a trip to the UK for work and met Iain!

I finally realized that there could be more to life – that I was not too old or too stuck to make a change. So after 32 years of marriage, with my son happily married and thriving, I asked my husband for a divorce. He was not surprised – I had told him for years that I wanted more in life. Our son was shocked – saying “but I thought you had a perfect marriage!” That’s because we never had any huge fights or huge problems. My parents and siblings, however, shocked me by supporting my decision. They just wanted me to be happy and live my best life. Iain and I kept in touch remotely and I decided I wanted to move to the UK and have an adventure! If Iain and I worked out, great – but if not, I was done playing it safe and wanted a change. So I moved to the UK and Iain and I started dating.

I had found what I was missing all those years – a true soulmate.

I talked to Iain about my Christianity, but that was as foreign to him, as the life he had lived, was foreign to me. So instead, we focused on all we had in common. We dated for several months and then he proposed everyday for 3 months! He wore me down LOL and when he took me in a hot air balloon, got down on his knee and proposed, I said Yes! We were married a few months later. For the first time in my life, I was in a committed relationship with a non-Christian.

I knew God had a plan for my life – He always had – but once again, I was trying to do things on my own. I wasn’t going to church or involved in ministries and after a while, that really started to wear on me. I missed the worship, the service, and the people. Iain agreed to try out some churches with me. It was the first time in his life he had set foot in a church! Eventually we found an OK church in the UK and met some lovely people. But it felt a little like going through the motions. We would go fairly regularly, but I was not doing any bible study or spending any quality time in prayer.

After a couple of years, we decided to move to Spain. We wanted to get out of the UK before Brexit. After we settled in, one of the first friends I met was a new Christian. God put her in my path to remind me of that spark and that desire to know Him, that I had taken for granted so many times over the years. She was looking for a church, so she and I visited one, and again, it was just OK. Then Iain came with us to try a new church – ICB – and halfway through the service, I had tears streaming down my face! I had finally found a church like the one I had gone to for years… one that resonated with God’s spirit!

After many years, I finally felt like I had come home, and God renewed a fire in my soul.

I started reading my bible again and praying regularly. I put God back in the driver’s seat and started praying heavily for Iain to come to Christ. I knew that Iain and I were meant to be together, and that Iain would eventually find God because for a true partnership, we had to have that same foundation. It took several years, many conversations, many prayers, but Iain finally get his life to Christ! We now read the bible together every day, pray together, and work in various ministries. I have never been happier!

Of course we still struggle – over many things – but we have each other and we are both rooted in Christ, so we know everything will work according to His plan.